Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
