Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize