I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I got inside last night via doggy door
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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