Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize