Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize