That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
