The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize