what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
