im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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