my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize