Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
how does that bad decision feel?
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