I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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