Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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