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He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
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