Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
