I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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