thus making me awesome and them whores
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
