3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize