I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.