So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.