I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
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The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
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You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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