There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.