I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person