The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.