Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
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On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
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We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.