You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She told me I should be a condom model.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.