I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.