just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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