Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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