p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
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He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
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I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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