Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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