Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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