New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize