dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.