how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?