if only i could text you this smell
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
