So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize