I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
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He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
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A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams