He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.