She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
