Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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