Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
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She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
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Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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