He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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