and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
COCAINE IS GR8
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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