He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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