Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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