we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
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