Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
