the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
