Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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