I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Houston, we have a squirter
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
