You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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