i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize