Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I think I sprained my soul last night
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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