sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize