How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
