I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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