Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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