you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
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Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
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I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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